Handling family and friends of differing political opinion

[ArmedCorgi]

As the title suggests, I'm starting this thread to open discussion about this topic as I am sure everyone here can relate to it in this day and age, one way or another, to one degree or another. How do we do this? How do we relate to friends and family who we find ourselves on opposite sides of a charged topic when there is no more fluid discourse, mutual respect or at the very least agreeing to disagree? I'm posing this question because members of my family have been feuding on FaceBook for years over politics and have now found themselves estranged and hating each other. While I have remained outside of those FaceBook feuds, I now find myself having had a face to face discussion about current events, Etc.,
All I did was express skepticism about their opinion. I also asked for examples to back up their assertions . I didn't launch into a rant or blow up. I simply didn't agree. I now feel that this member of my family has written me off and dismissed me.

How do we deal with this? This is someone who's known me my whole life. Why should differences like these hold water over life long tangible relationships?
looking for thoughts and experiences.

 

[holdover]

Depends what the subject was, Maybe you said something about gays or blacks and they have a personal tie to them , and maybe you wernt aware of it .

 

[meketrefe]

Politics is the biggest scam ever devised by human kind.

 

[holdover]

Could have been about the virus . God knows I take a lot of flack from my family.

 

[E the massive]

Family first. Do your best to make amends.

 

[Jem45472]

I have found it best not to discuss politics period with liberals. They seem to lack the ability to discuss these matters intelligently in any way whatsoever.

 

[GOPerfect]

I have family that are very left of center. I turned them off years ago. I do not have friends that follow completely wrong ideas and political thoughts that fall outside of what I consider correct and normal.

There are times at work when a discussion is brought up. I will stay part of the conversation for a while, after listening to these idiots spew their shit, I leave. If I am asked why I left the topic, I tell the people how wrong they are.

I do not have time in my life for this kind of crap/

 

[ricklovin93]

I usually avoid conversations about politics with someone who has different views than me.

If someone has different views than me, I have zero desire to try and change their values.

Luckily my immediate family is pretty much on the same page with everything. My 18 year old brother is a little left leaning on somethings, but so was I at his age.

 

[Jaywmustang]

If it’s that easy for them to write you off.....good, You know where you stand now. Have a clear conscious when you don’t go out of your way to help them. It’s just to bad you can’t have a difference of opinions.

 

[ArmedCorgi]

I don't like to discuss politics usually and I've stayed away from it with this person for a while now. This time it came out some in conversation about the people in my family who have been feuding on FB.
It's been hard to avoid politics because they always seem to be right there under the surface and are always a source of unease when I am around them. I can put the politics aside and focus on other things, like having a good time, but this person just seems to wear it around them like a storm cloud.

 

[ArmedCorgi]

If it’s that easy for them to write you off.....good, You know where you stand now. Have a clear conscious when you don’t go out of your way to help them. It’s just to bad you can’t have a difference of opinions.

Perhaps writting off was the wrong way to discribe it. Suffice it to say, I can see a change in they way they look at me.

 

[prambo]

If it’s that easy for them to write you off.....good, You know where you stand now. Have a clear conscious when you don’t go out of your way to help them. It’s just to bad you can’t have a difference of opinions.

Family first. Do your best to make amends.

I have family that are very left of center. I turned them off years ago. I do not have friends that follow completely wrong ideas and political thoughts that fall outside of what I consider correct and normal.

There are times at work when a discussion is brought up. I will stay part of the conversation for a while, after listening to these idiots spew their shit, I leave. If I am asked why I left the topic, I tell the people how wrong they are.

I do not have time in my life for this kind of crap/

@ArmedCorgi

All of the above is good advice...from different points of view.

With non-family, I definitely roll with @GOPerfect - I neither need the agro of dealing with libtards nor do I have the time. Followed my Father's advice - if you don't like someone or their ways, ignore them...until you can't.

Family is different and I agree with @E the massive , but only to a point.

My first Ex is an Ex because she became a Gen5 feminazi in the times of Gen1 feminazis, so we parted ways after 21 years and were divorced 2 years later.

My son, by my first Ex, became a libtard because of his mother's views, I'm sure.

He became a "mugged liberal" after 9/11 - he saw the 2nd tower collapse in real time, had to walk home with my DIL over the Brooklyn Bridge and lost a childhood friend who was above the "hit zone" in one tower.

It didn't last long...he went back over to the "dark side". Last time we talked on the phone, it was mostly about the COVID-19 debacle. In the middle of the conversation he went into an unprovoked tirade blaming Trump for everything, including the nursing home deaths in NY.

I decided to let in roll off my back - I know it's probably a permanent condition now, but I won't break the blood family bond.

If you have blood family who's views differ from yours, just roll with it. If they purposefully attack you about your views on Farcebook, and do so disrespectfully and dismissively, my choice would be to just put them on your "ignore" list. They're lost to the real world and are living in a separate, but foolish, reality.

My $0.02.

 

[Criticalt]

Heres my thoughts and they may not be popular.
As far as economic and basic social politics, I dont care, you do you.
But......for those that support the recent riots, burning and murders.......well fuck you asshole, ill see you on the battlefield.
Family or not, you are the enemy.
And 100% of my friends agree and our anger is only growing.
Riots and murder have nothing to do with politics.

 

[stokes]

I have never even looked at face book.It seems to me that facebook is a seperate reality.I have friends who I've seen argue about politics face to face and would finally drop it and move on.Now these same friends get into it on facebook and become blood enemies and never talk again.I swear smart phones and facebook are brainwashing people.

 

[Curmudgeon]

A. Get off facebook. It is of no value whatsoever.

B. Whomever is arguing on facebook is likely going to be a problem to you at some point. No matter what side they are on.

C. Understand that everyone has different morals, values and perspectives. It's ok to listen to people and not respond. No need to let them in to your innermost thoughts, also no need to debate everyone.

D. Find common beliefs and amplify that.

E. If you can't tolerate others different from you, you might be the problem.

Our ability to get along with others we dont agree with is what can make or break our success.

Ex: I'm an atheist. If I ran around trying to debate everyone with an eye on proving my point, I'd soon be labeled the asshole. I might already be.

 

[camper4lyfe]

A. Get off facebook. It is of no value whatsoever.

B. Whomever is arguing on facebook is likely going to be a problem to you at some point. No matter what side they are on.

C. Understand that everyone has different morals, values and perspectives. It's ok to listen to people and not respond. No need to let them in to your innermost thoughts, also no need to debate everyone.

D. Find common beliefs and amplify that.

E. If you can't tolerate others different from you, you might be the problem.

Our ability to get along with others we dont agree with is what can make or break our success.

Ex: I'm an atheist. If I ran around trying to debate everyone with an eye on proving my point, I'd soon be labeled the asshole. I might already be.

I agree with B-E 100%. A is hit or miss, depending on what it's used for.

I have a lot of friends from a running group on FB, and they all have different life experiences and perspectives and therefore different beliefs. I may think some of them are off their rockers on some subjects, but that doesn't change the fact that they're good people, and I like them. I just avoid conversations with them about certain topics. BUT, I always listen to the other perspectives and opinions. It's ridiculous to put yourself in an echo chamber of like-minded friends. You gain nothing in life from being surrounded by "yes men". This comes back to "E". If you can't tolerate different opinions, chances are that you're the problem.

 

[ArmedCorgi]

Here's the kicker. The actual conversation didn't get out of hand or disrespectful. I asked this person if it would be okay if I sent them links to a few videos I felt made some valid points. They said sure, so I sent them and gave plenty of trigger warning and also said there was no offense intended. Just a different point of view.

Got no reply back other than "thanks, I'll take a look". So they either didn't look at the videos, which I doubt or they watched as much as they could stomach and have either pigeon holed me into one catagory or they simply have no rebutal to the videos.

The next time I saw this person, I didn't bring it up at all and just acted happy and talked about other things. The visit mostly went well but I could see it in their eyes and mannerisms when I greeted them.

The person also, I feel, took a jab when we said goodbye. Since hugging is still a no no with Covid, I offered a fist bump and their reply was something like "oh is this what Kanye would do?". Obviously a Trump reference. I laughed it off and left.

 

[prambo]

Here's the kicker. The actual conversation didn't get out of hand or disrespectful. I asked this person if it would be okay if I sent them links to a few videos I felt made some valid points. They said sure, so I sent them and gave plenty of trigger warning and also said there was no offense intended. Just a different point of view.

The person also, I feel, took a jab when we said goodbye. Since hugging is still a no no with Covid, I offered a fist bump and their reply was something like "oh is this what Kanye would do?". Obviously a Trump reference. I laughed it off and left.

Looks like the best move. I'd make it permanent, but that's me.

 

[Toecutter]

Keep politics to yourself, like our grandparents did, no one is changing minds so there is no point in arguing. Go to the booth and pull the lever as you see fit.
This constant bickering happens due to social medias disconnection from face to face conversation.

 

[gun_slinger_boy]

If your family is having feuds over facebook disown them.

 

[SomeSoldier]

Keep politics to yourself, like our grandparents did, no one is changing minds so there is no point in arguing. Go to the booth and pull the lever as you see fit.
This constant bickering happens due to social medias disconnection from face to face conversation.

It also happens because no one can have a simple conversation. So instead of trying to learn to just disagree we just choose not to communicate.

 

[ArmedCorgi]

Looks like the best move. I'd make it permanent, but that's me.

You mean just don't bring it up ever and continue on? That is likely what I'll do and hopefully they will forget about it. They are likely to make jabs though.

 

[livingston]

Keep politics to yourself, like our grandparents did, no one is changing minds so there is no point in arguing. Go to the booth and pull the lever as you see fit.
This constant bickering happens due to social medias disconnection from face to face conversation.

I have a friend ... grandparents and uncles argued all the time ... Hardcore Dems and hardcore Reps ... Stopped talking to each other for years over the issues of the day.

 

[Blimey]

I got ahead of this a few years ago. I made a purity questionnaire and demanded all of my family members answer it. Most did. My mother didn't, so I have not spoken to her since and will not until she does.

Of those who did answer the questionnaire most exhibited varying degrees of fascist, communist, pro-capitalist, and anti-tolerant behavior along with bigotry and racism. I graded them all according to their vile view points and posted the questions and answers on my own, and several other, facebook groups, so that they would be publicly called to answer for how they answered my questions.

 

[thegatman]

I just go on with my life. Enjoy the outdoors, be prepared, ignore stupid people, stay out of movements and politics especially in this state.

 

[prambo]

You mean just don't bring it up ever and continue on? That is likely what I'll do and hopefully they will forget about it. They are likely to make jabs though.

Sorry, I should have highlighted the word "left" more prominently in my quote of your post.

My bad.

You said you "left" after the person in question made a snide remark about you offering a fist bump and saying something about Kanye West.

I would have "left" permanently...never to associate with them again.

 

[libertysnake]

vvvvvvvv

As the title suggests, I'm starting this thread to open discussion about this topic as I am sure everyone here can relate to it in this day and age, one way or another, to one degree or another. How do we do this? How do we relate to friends and family who we find ourselves on opposite sides of a charged topic when there is no more fluid discourse, mutual respect or at the very least agreeing to disagree? I'm posing this question because members of my family have been feuding on FaceBook for years over politics and have now found themselves estranged and hating each other. While I have remained outside of those FaceBook feuds, I now find myself having had a face to face discussion about current events, Etc.,
All I did was express skepticism about their opinion. I also asked for examples to back up their assertions . I didn't launch into a rant or blow up. I simply didn't agree. I now feel that this member of my family has written me off and dismissed me.

How do we deal with this? This is someone who's known me my whole life. Why should differences like these hold water over life long tangible relationships?
looking for thoughts and experiences.

I stopped using Facebook all together to avoid this bullshit.

Overall, my stance is similar to yours. If people are not capable of having a healthy discussion, even if you completely disagree with someone else, then they're just not mentally mature. Discourse shuts down, which is a bad thing. We lost the ability to disagree one minute, and have a beer the next minute -- which is sad.

If they're willing to write you off so easily, it's not a big loss to you. Trust me. Just move on if you can't get through to them about "agreeing to disagree" more or less.

 

[Bigfoot]

I don't personally know anyone that is a liberal, a leftist.
All of my friends and family are right of center.

I don't know if that is because the type of area that I have always lived in... (rural)
I don't know if it because of happenstance.
I don't know if I am just lucky.

I think that it's the type of location that I have always lived in.
I'm surrounded by farms, fields, and woods. There are not any liberals around here that I know of.
The way of life around here is not for the liberals I suppose... IDK ... But yeah, I don't know any liberals personally.




Is this weird? ... In my 56 years, I have never ever talked to a black person.
Other than a quick "Hi" - or a "how are ya?" - or a head nod... I have never talked to one.
Like liberals, I never have the chance, I'm never around any. Except for maybe strangers in a store or something.
And I don't talk to strangers.

The only social media that I do is, here and arfcom. No Facebook or Twitter or anything like that.
So I don't talk to any liberals, leftists... And I would prefer it stays that way.

The leftists have gone off the rails and I now consider them the enemy.
The enemy of my country, a threat to my way of life... I wouldn't piss on one if he was on fire.

If I did have a liberal friend, at this point, he/she would no longer be my friend... We would be incompatible.
It has not always been this way with me but times have changed... It's time to pick a side.

 

[Carlos Hathcock]

I don't have a great deal of interaction with family members. Most have been scattered to the wind through divorce, WNY hard economic times, what have you. I don't bring up topics of politics with the ones I do still see. It's hard to avoid as you see how they have conversations, deal with their children, and so forth. I guess my opinion is this...

Family or not, if these people, groups, families are promoting and / or advancing ideas that are going to affect MY life, MY family, and MY country there's no blood relationship that's going to give them a pass. They're no different than any other citizen who had intentions of radically altering numerous laws and policies that are going to have a marked effect on the rest of my life......at least as it pertains to me being a US citizen. I'm not asking anyone to allow the host of "progressive" changes they propose to support. I believe strongly in a narrow core of morals and ideals. I'm not complicated. I don't take bullshit, and I'm certainly not going to take it from someone who's been invited to the same gathering as I am.

You need to make a decision as to where the line is drawn. How far you're willing to let people's ideas and thoughts alter our lives and our country.

 

[Deplorable Me]

When family becomes politically polarized and one or both sides can't let it go for the sake of family then every day is like Thanksgiving. My wife and I have hosted Thanksgiving for almost 30 years. In 2016 the invite list of about 22 went down to about 6 because a bunch of adults can't behave for one day. We've not gotten an invite out which tells me more about what some of my 4 local siblings think. There's a 5th out of town sibling who is okay. I'm not sure if I was cranky and bitter before the bullshit or after. No one puts conditions on me under my roof. I will leave first and not insult you at your house, do not insult me in mine. Last 4 years have been good.

More turkey and stuffing for me.